Secrets of successful correspondence

Unlimited opportunities of Internet dating require some skills to be successful. When it comes to searching for love, the way you build your communication in the Internet is of particular importance. This article is a brief guide for those who wish to establish and hold correspondence aimed at serious relationship. We believe that it will be useful for experienced Internet daters as well, since many of them underestimate the role played by what and how they write.

Complete your profile as soon as you join!

We provide a detailed profile template for you to complete - The more information you give in your profile, the more often you will be contacted.

• - Fill in all sections of your profile. If you don't want to give an answer to a particular question, select 'I'd rather not say' instead of leaving it blank.
• - Write a personal ad: this is your opportunity to make your profile really stand out from the others.
• - Display at least 3 photos of yourself: photos complete a profile, and help show that you are genuine about meeting people.

Be active!

Don't wait for someone else to make the first move! It's simple: the more people you contact, the better your chances of meeting someone.

• - Contact a different person spontaneously every day.
• - Log on regularly (active profiles appear first in other members' search results lists).
• - Reply to all the messages you receive: even if you are not interested in the person who contacted you, be polite and let them know.
• - Find your points in common by creating your own Test and inviting people you like to take it.

So, you've just registered and now are sending your "Hi, how are you?" to every second woman whose profile you view. Stop! Chances are little to get the answers. The problem is that the woman probably gets a lot of messages from men and you need to stand from the crowd to get noticed. Be ready that she will visit your profile to find some additional information for evaluation. This means that you should have a completed profile that includes personal narrative and good photos of you. Another important thing is to explore information of those you are going to write to. If you miss anything important from a woman's profile, she will simply ignore you.

Efforts to establish correspondence with too many women at once are unreasonable and mostly unsuccessful. It is practicable to mail with at most 10 persons at a time. The relationships are unstable at the beginning. You will be gradually screening out those who do not match your criteria and establish new contacts. The process takes time, but it's worth it!

First letter

You only have one chance to make the first impression. Keep it in mind when you first write to a woman. A good idea is to start with a pleasant and correct compliment. Let your compliment sound original. You may pick out something interesting from her profile to start with. It may be something you like, you have in common, or you are curious about. For example, "Hi, I've read in your profile that you enjoy going to the country and you make the tastiest barbecue. How do you do that? I enjoy being outdoors too, but when it comes to making barbecue, nothing comes out. Can you share some of your secrets?"

A compliment can be easily blended with a question. This allows to express your interest in a woman and makes it easier for her to know what to write about in her reply. Another example, "Hi, your story about your life, family and work seems very interesting. How do you manage to write in such a fascinating manner? I am still unable to write my personal narrative. Can you give me a piece of advice?" Comments to her look on the photo are not a good tactics for the first letter. Even the most attractive woman doesn't like being contacted simply for her appearance.

Remember that the first letter is aimed only at showing your interest in her and subsequently evoking her interest in you. Don't write long monologues. Be positive from the very beginning. Don't make excuses like "Hi, I've visited your profile several times not daring to write to you, but today I finally have the heart to send you this message." Don't mention how sad and lonely you are as this will make you sound weak. Russian culture favors a man with strong character. You should introduce yourself in a way to interest the lady in learning more. If she answers, future letters will create opportunities to tell more about you on various subjects.

Don't hope to continue correspondence with all whom you have written. Rejections are inevitable. However, if you had written many letters to women and got no answers, try to find the reason. It may be a bad photo, a bad self-presentation in the profile, or something that you write in your letters. It may happen that the woman has already been mailing with several men and considers new acquaintance to be excessive or she has already been building relationship with some other man and simply forgot to remove her profile from the site.

Keeping in touch

If the woman replies to you, this means that you've managed to sparkle her interest. Don't change you manner in the following letters. Let your communication begin with the things she can agree with. For example, if you find out from her profile that she is a vegetarian, just wait a bit to tell how much you like rare cooked meat. This doesn't mean that you should pretend in order to please her, just tell everything at the proper time.

Unlike in real life, it's quite natural and normal for the Internet to keep in touch with several potential partners simultaneously. Just be very careful not to confuse them, as it may spoil all relationships. You should continue correspondence as long as possible until you get enough information about each possible partner to make the right decision when the time comes to choose the one. When you see that a person doesn't match your criteria, stop your communication in a correct and delicate manner. Simply not answering her letters is uncourteous. Remember that you can also be rejected. Rejection is not fatal, just unpleasant. If it happens, it simply means that she wasn't meant to be your partner and you should continue your search.

It is important to find a balance between asking questions and telling about yourself. With long monologue of 'I' statements your letter will appear to be dominated by your ego. To prepossess your conversation partner for further dialog, ask questions that allow multiple answers. If you are trying to get the answer for a difficult question, try to smooth it or propose your own vision. What differs electronic correspondence from personal communication is possibility to turn off the unpleasant question by simply ignoring it. If you notice that your potential partner avoids questions that are important for you and answers a lot of minor questions, be wise. You may ask them again but in another form. For example instead of "Why don't you tell me about your family? Do you have any problems with them?" wait a little and write, "I can hardly remember that you told me about your family. It is really interesting for me."

Everything has its own time. Avoid talking about sex and other delicate issues too soon. Make sure to get to know her and let her get to know you before you become too intimate. The longer you are in correspondence the more sincere your letters will become. It's quite good that you may learn much about your potential partner before you decide to meet. Use this chance to get to know the thing that may be difficult to ask personally. This may be her attitude towards children, experience of previous relationship, type of relationship your potential partner expects, etc. If everything comes to meeting, don't forget to mention facts that may influence your future family life like serious financial problems or criminal record. Sincerity is the best policy. No one likes to deal with a liar. Use the advantage of time you have to think over each word and avoid ambiguity.

Be careful when reading between lines. When exchanging letters, your imagination will add unsaid details that may not exist in reality. In other words, you will seek substitution for nonverbal communication aspects that you lack while exchanging letters. Chances are little that your vision will remain the same after your meeting. The only way to find your perfect match is speaking from your heart, being positive, explaining your values and your visions. Express how do you see your life with your future wife and ask the thing you are interested in. The more information, stories, and photographs you share the better. Pay attention to details, things you have in common, and let your intuition be your guide.

Remain polite and courteous

Our customer service team monitors the site in real time and is on hand to take immediate action in the event of any complaints. As a general rule, the moderation team will remove a profile from the site after receiving three or more complaints from other users. Any profiles deleted under these circumstances are not eligible for a refund.

How to choose effective photos

Photos are the main tool of attraction on a dating site. Though adding photos is optional, it is almost impossible to become successful without a good photo. Women are usually suspicious about men who have any photo in their profile. They can, for instance, think that the absence of a photo is caused by being ugly and ignore even the most interesting profile. Not showing the way you look tells against your sincerity, which is a wrong tactics for the place aimed at dating. Don't hope to share your photos in the subsequent correspondence. There can be any, as the woman will most likely ignore you message.

Women usually respond to men they like visually. You don't need to look like Tom Cruz or Kevin Costner to get noticed. More important here is emotional effect produced by your photo. A good photo evokes interest and makes women visit your profile to learn more. Try to be a little psychologist. Let your photos exude maximum harmony and positive emotions. Women cannot resist that!

Main photo

The main photo is extremely important. It is displayed in search results when women search through our database and it is first seen when they visit your profile after receiving a letter from you. Your main photo should be appealing. It's aim is to catch the eye and to produce positive emotions.

It is advisable to place a portrait-like main photo, i.e. a close up with your face clearly seen. If you have no portrait photo, you may create it from any other photograph where your face is clearly visible. Use the crop tool of a graphic editor. Graphic editors are usually available in modern image viewers, for example in ACDSee, or as individual programs, for example Picasa by Google. Just make sure your portrait is of good quality after cropping. Quality is essential for all photos that you add to your profile.

A good photo reveals your individual character and the image of real you. Choose the photo where you smile naturally. Your smile will predispose women for communication. Avoid photos with fake smile, expressions of concentration, sadness, or suffering. Avoid adding obscure photos, photos of you in sunglasses, or other photos where your face is indiscernible.

How to choose a good photo

You may ask your female friend, the one whose opinion you trust, to choose the best photo from the available photos. It may happen that your friend will reject all the photos saying they bear no resemblance to real you. Then you may ask somebody to take your pictures with digital camera. Make a fair number of pictures (about twenty), perhaps on different settings. You will then have a good selection to choose from.

Photos shouldn't necessary be taken by a professional photographer. However, professionals can find the most successful angle and put emphasis on your advantages. Nonprofessional photos usually show how you look in everyday life. You may also ask someone skilled to improve your non-professional pictures, i.e. to remove skin defects, adjust brightness, contrast, etc. Don't go overboard with this; make sure the photo still looks like you!

Number of photos

If your intentions are serious, one photo is usually not enough. Adding maximum possible number of photos gives a chance to your potential partners to get better idea of you. Don't forget to mention when and where the photos where taken. Don't place identical photos, for example, on the same background, in the same clothes, etc. Your photos shall in no way create the impression that you lay emphasis on your appearance.

Each new photo shall complement to the previous ones and to your personal narrative, creating the dynamic image of real you. Don't place only studio photos even if you have a perfect look on them. Women are interested in seeing you in real life. You may add photos where you are engaged with your hobby or doing some interesting activities. For example, photos of you skiing on holiday. Such photos help to prove that you do the things you say you do in your profile, and they make your profile more interesting.

Your appearance

The majority of men look quite normal, though not like Hollywood stars, but not ugly. Remember that each woman has her own concept of male beauty. Moreover, for many of them your inner qualities are much more important. Therefore, you look on the photo shall be similar to that in the real life. This specially concerns your age and height. Women hate when men lie about that. If you have concealed your real age or height, be ready for unpleasant situation at personal meeting. It will be uneasy for your potential partner to overcome bitterness and forgive the lie.

Modesty

Avoid showing off! Though material wealth is certainly important, it is not in the first place for Russian women seeking men from abroad for serious relationship. When a woman sees a photo of a man near his Lincoln or Mercedes of the latest model, she most likely considers the man either vainglorious or substituting more important things. Exposing your wealth on photos is not a good tactics. You'd better demonstrate your charm and smile.

Keep your goal in mind

You came to the dating site to find your love, so avoid placing photos where you are surrounded by women, a group of people, or family photos. Avoid photos with ex-partners partiality showing or cut out. You may add photos with your pet. People in Russia like pets. A cat or a dog lives in every second Russian family. Just don't overdo with this not to produce an impression that your prefer pets to humans.